pinkstal (pinkstal) wrote,

One Shot: Infront of the Mirror

Title: Infront of the Mirror
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: TeukMin (Leeteuk / Sungmin)
Word count: ~1200
Summary: Sometimes all Sungmin needs is his Teukie hyung
A/N: For the lovely Sineka @ mingteukies on tumblr! This was supposed to be super fluffy but I messed up and half way through when I accidentally got a plot stuck in my brain and went in an angsty direction instead oOP... i'll try again with TeukMin later and write something super fluffy I promise ;A;

The music blares, beads of sweat dripping down Sungmin's face as he breathes heavily, moving his body to the beat.

With not only Super Show concerts, but an impending Super Junior M comeback and enlistment all bearing down on him, Sungmin has had a lot on his mind the past couple of months. As a result he ends up spending a majority of his free time in a small dance room in the SM building, the familiar blue clouds comforting compared to the idea spending all his time feeling suffocated by the questioning gazes he constantly receives from Hyukjae and Ryeowook in the dorm.

He's been trying to perfect a particular move that’s been giving him trouble for the past hour while simultaneously trying to forget everything that’s been weighing on his mind – the pressure from his company, from fans, heck, even pressure from his own band mates.

As he stumbles through the same move again, he swears in frustration as he looks at himself in the mirror, agitated. What on earth did his fans even see in him when he can't even get one simple dance move right!? It was better that he left now and just got it over with, it was obviously better for everyone this way.

Shaking his head to get rid of the unwanted thoughts, he positions himself ready to go again before the song suddenly comes to a stop in the middle of his next attempt. As a deafening silence fills the room, he quickly spins to see the last person he expected to see standing in the doorway, sad smile across their face.


“Hey Min.”

Sungmin is in shock - he hasn't seen Jungsoo for months, not since the celebrity unit of the army was shut down. It was rare enough to get a chance to see him while he was working to promote the army and his musical, as soon as he was placed in the normal corps as a sergeant those chance meetings had basically become non-existent.

Picking up the towel and water bottle Sungmin had placed beside the music player, Jungsoo made his way over to him, gently pushing him over to sit on the small benches on the side of the room. Confused, Sungmin continued to watch Jungsoo make a small fuss over him, patting his face gently with the towel.

“Teukie hyung, what on earth are you doing here?”

A small smile graced Jungsoos face as he finally sits down on the bench next to him, giving him a knowing once over.

“Weelllll” he starts, “a little birdie told me that one of my favourite dongsaengs has decided that he needs to enlist early, so I thought I would come see him about it as the self-appointed Super Junior enlistment expert”

A small chuckle escapes Sungmin's lips before he sighs. Of course Jungsoo would know about his plans – although he'd tried to keep his application to the army police department as quiet as possible, he'd still needed to go with a manager to hand in his documents. It had been obvious since day one Seunghwan wasn't the biggest fan of him enlisting early, and he should've realised that the prince manager would try to do something about it.

“Well you know me hyung, best to get it over and done with~” he smiles, but he can tell almost immediately by Jungsoo's look that he hasn't convinced him.

“You're completely right Minnie, I do know you. I've been by your side for years now, so you should know by now that I can tell when something is troubling you” he responds, gently reaching over to grab Sungmin's hand.

At first Sungmin glances around the room, as if looking for a way out, before eventually sighing in defeat and turning back to face his hyung.

“I'm... I'm just not good enough! All these years have just been wasted because I'll never match up to the others. I can't sing like Kyuhyunnie, Ryeowookie, and Yesung hyung. I can't move my body the way Hyukjae, Donghae and Shindong do. I don't have the looks like Siwonnie, can't MC like you, Heechul hyung and Kangin hyung. So where does that leave me? All this time and I'm worthless. So I need to get better so I can stop bringing this group down!” Sungmin's quiet voice rises to a frustrated shout, letting out all his inner thoughts and emotions.

A sad look once again crosses Jungsoo's face as he tightens his hold on Sungmin's hand. How had it come to this? In that one moment Jungsoo had never felt more distanced from his friend, the two years apart affecting Sungmin more than he ever thought possible.

They sit in silence for a moment as Sungmin breathes heavily, trying to control his now raging emotions. Jungsoo takes a moment to fully look at him, thinking quietly, before suddenly rising from the bench, pulling a confused Sungmin up with him and positioning them both in front of the large floor length mirrors covering the far wall of the practice room.

“What do you see?”

“Jungsoo wha--”

“Look in the mirror and tell me what you see”

Sungmin looks at Jungsoo eyeing him carefully, thinking for a moment before turning back to the reflective surface and taking a deep breath.

“I see an amazing leader who is extremely talented and loved standing next to a good for nothing backup dancer. I see someone who is always second best, who will never improve compared to the natural talents his bandmates possess... I see everything I'm not”

Jungsoo looks at his dongsaeng, heart breaking at the way the young man before him saw himself. He'd been gone for so long, and Sungmin had been suffering all this time without him there to guide him. He stared at the young man beside him for awhile, before making eye contact with him once again through the mirror.

“Want to know what I see? I see a man who tries his hardest in everything he does – a man who puts everyone before himself and would rather see the entire world smile before him. I see someone who I'm proud to call not only a band member but a brother. But most importantly, I see someone who doesn't know how to properly love himself.”

Sungmin doesn't realise he's crying until he looks at his reflection once more and sees the wet tracks running down his cheeks. Reaching up to quickly brush them away, he turns to properly look at his hyung face to face. Jungsoo is smiling his gentle dimpled smile, something that Sungmin has been achingly missed for what feels like so long.

“But its okay that he feels that way right now. My precious dongsaeng doesn't need to fully love himself, because I'll always love him twice as much to make up for it instead”.

Jungsoo pulls him into a tight hug, and Sungmin is hit with the warm, safe feeling that comes every time he finds himself in Jungsoo's arms. For the first time in months, his heart feels light; like everything is going to turn out alright.

“I miss you” he whispers, and Jungsoo knows in that one short phrase, that Sungmin loves him back.

Tags: fic:one shot, p: leeteuk/sungmin

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