Rating: a low PG
Word count: ~2500
Summary: Men in Black!AU. Its just a normal day for Agent Y. Ryeowook? Not so much.
A/N: unbetad. My mother made me watch MIB3 the other night and it lead to this madness kdjghdkjg. Title taken from Will Smiths Men in Black song because lbr its the greatest song of our time #noregrets
Yesung had been stuck in the car for four hours when he finally felt himself starting to lose his goddamn mind. If the cramped passenger seat wasn't bad enough, his partner had decided to prove once again that he was the most infuriating person in the galaxy to take on any sort of stakeout.
Candy wrappers were strewn around the entire interior of the car, Agent K happily munching on some sort of sweet - that had to be terrible for him - while he focused on the loud beeps coming from his gaming device. It was honestly a miracle that Yesung could even hear the game at all, with the music that was blasting out of the cars speakers. It was some song from K's 'girl group of the month', although to Yesung the song had started to resemble more whines and screeches than any sort of reasonable melody. He groaned, shuffling around in his seat once more in a desperate attempt to calm himself before he did something he would regret like 'accidentally' killing the man beside him.
“Could we please go five minutes without listening to this stupid song!?!?”
“Would you chill the fuck out for the first time in your life” K snorted, not bothering to look up at him. “Besides! One of the girls is a drop dead gorgeous Zarthan, and I can confirm that the last time I saw her at HQ she was totally into me.”
Yesung glared at his partner, balling his hands into fists to try and stop himself from lunging across the seats at the man. “So I have to sit here and go borderline crazy because you want to get laid? If I have to hear their stupid 'aing~' attempt to be cute one more time i'm just going to throw myself in front of the next car to come down this road.”
K just chuckled, turning the song up louder as he sang along to the lyrics at the disgruntled man. Yesung growled as he shoved his amused partner, unbuckling his seatbelt with a roll of his eyes, having decided he'd put up with more than enough for one day,
“Where are you going?”
“Away from you. There's a coffee shop across the street and I'm going to need some sort of caffeine if I don't want to end up actually murdering you.”
Pulling himself out of the car he heard K's loud bark of laughter, the man turrning the song down slightly as Yesung fumed outside.
“GET ME A PASTRY WHILE YOU'RE THERE LOSER I'M STARVING” he yelled as Yesung slammed the door, giving K the finger as he crossed the road.
Entering the tiny coffee shop, bell above the door twinkling gently, Yesung stopped to take in his surroundings. Despite its small size the shop was rather quaint, its warm colours and cozy furnishings bringing a homely feel to the small space. With a glance over the rows of tables it was clear that the place was empty, save for the one person facing away from him at the counter, singing softly to himself.
As he manoeuvred through the various tables towards the counter a small smile graced Yesungs face, previous anger at his idiotic partner evaporating at every sweet note that spilled out of the boys mouth. When he finally stood behind the boy Yesung paused for a moment, committing the clear voice to memory before quietly clearing his throat. With a squeak the boy jumped, note breaking off as he spun around to face him.
Yesung was immediately taken aback by the sheer adorableness of the boy in front of him, face a pretty shade of pink as he looked at the ground flustered. While the boy tried to quickly calm himself from the scare Yesung couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, completely captured by the barista – and even if a the small part of him chastised himself for not establishing a proper secure perimeter, the shy smile the boy sent him convinced Yesung that he'd earned this one adorable distraction. Besides, K was more than capable of watching the door for him.
“Welcome to Mobit sir, how can I assist you today?”
Pretending to glance up at the menu Yesung took a second to think before he leaned slightly on the counter, looking up at the boy. “Well, I'm after something to drink but I'm not really sure what exactly to get. What would you recommend, being more of an expert then me.”
The boy paused, adorably tapping his chin lightly in thought. “Mmmm my speciality is the Maple Hot Chocolate, but it's quite sweet...”
“Well then I'm sure if its as sweet as you I'm going to love it” Yesung replied, sending him a sly smile. He watched as the boy turned bright red, giving him a small smile that just reached his eyes as he mumbled out a thank you.
“Please, there is no need to thank me when I'm jut stating the truth...” Yesung said, watching the boy ring up his purchase, sharp gaze then falling to the name tag on the boys apron. “...Ryeowook. Even your name is cute” he continued, throwing the boy a wink.
When the shy barista – Ryeowook – turned around to start making his order after shoving Yesungs change into his hand with an embarrassed splutter, Yesung took the opportunity to not so subtly check the boy out, taking in the rather glorious sight of the boys behind. He was leant on the counter, eagerly taking in the barista when he felt an abnormally warm drop land on his cheek. Frowning slightly he wiped the spot, looking at his fingers confusedly when he found bright purple goo. It took three seconds for Yesung's brain to finally put things together, turning his gaze up toward the visibly sagging ceiling.
As the ceiling tiles snapped, plaster raining down on top of Yesung, a giant slug like creature fell to the ground beside him letting out a low growl. Yesung immediately tried to pull his weapon on the large creature, desperately reaching for the holster in his jacket, but his focus on the cute boy had served as a big enough distraction to lose vital seconds with the slug managing to slam him against the bench, cutting off access to his gun.
He heard a small squeak from over his shoulder as the small barista turned around, dropping the coffee pot in his hands with a loud shatter as he stared at the scene in front of him. Yesung managed to get himself free enough to give a swift kick to the slugs side while he pushed it off him, dazing the creature, before he frantically turned to look at Ryeowook.
“What the FUCK is that!?!?!” the small man whispered, visibly shaking like a leaf as he backed himself up against the far wall.
“Ryeowook I'm going to need you to listen to me very carefully okay? I'm going to take care of this, what I need from you is to stay exactly where you are and for you to remain as calm as you can.”
Ryeowook stared at him, eyes comically wide as he shook his head slightly “bu-but I don't understand what the hell is happening! It's dangerous w-we need to get out of here and go get h-help.”
Despite his current distress Yesung couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at the boys adorableness, giving him a gentle smile. “I'll explain everything once I've fixed all this okay? But I need you to trust me when I tell you that its safer for you and for me to stay where I can properly protect you behind the counter away from it, are we clear Ryeowook?”
When Ryeowook gave him a slow nod Yesung let out a sigh of relief, the baristas willing acceptance of his words making the job of protecting him alot easier. “Besides it's just a giant ugly slug, how difficult could it be to handle?”
All Yesung got as a response was Ryeowook pressed further against the wall, eyes fearful as he raised a shaking finger to point behind him. Yesung turned around slowly, coming face to face with the slug, the creature letting out an ear-piercing screech before it lunged at the man, aiming to take a large chunk out of his shoulder. Yesung barely managed to doge the attack, the slug connecting with the edge of the counter before flicking its large body around angrily, flinging him across the store.
Yesung's back connected with one of the small tables by the shops window, flipping over it as he fell between the toppled table and the row of seats. When he finally managed to get himself clear from the table, the agent hoisted himself over the couch, reaching quickly for his weapon while the distracted creature tried make its way towards the young man on the other side of the counter.
“Hey you ugly piece of shit!” Yesung yelled, drawing its attention away from the obviously terrified Ryeowook. As the slug growled at him once more Yesung gave it a smirk, levelling his gun at the slug like creature. “Big mistake pissing me off when I'm already in a bad mood” he muttered as he fired his gun, the creature exploding into a mess of purple slime.
When the mess cleared Yesung looked up to find the barista missing, no longer pressed against the back wall. He quickly made his way behind the counter, stepping over the large chunks of slimey remains, instantly calming when he finally caught sight of the small frame curled into a ball on the floor. He winced as he took in the boys appearance, eyes wide and coated head to toe in the purple goo.
He'd been having such a nice time flirting with Ryeowook – it figured his rubbish luck would ruin that as well.
It took five minutes for Yesung to coax the man out from behind the counter, gently leading Ryeowook to the row of lounges by the window not destroyed in the mayhem.
“So you're telling me... that not only aliens are very much real, but you work for a secret government agency that works to manage said aliens, and I just happened to by attacked by one in the form of a giant slug...”
“Well of course, thats the logical answer!” Ryeowook snorted, Yesung cracking a smile at the barista's sarcasm. “Okay, so lets say I believe all of... this... why me? Why coffee shop out of all the random shops along the row?”
Yesung hesitated, avoiding the boys sharp gaze by looking down at his fingers. “uhhh, would you believe me if I said it was a completely random occurrence?”
“Yesung I swear to god after everything I just went through if you don't tell me the goddman truth-”
“Okay!” Yesung sighed. “Well... the Aldoosi slug is typically drawn to easy food sources like small animals, but from what I've seen they don't typically become aggressive unless they're seeking a – god how do I put this – a copulation partner...?”
Ryeowook looked at the sheepish man with wide eyes before letting out a loud groan, head falling into his hands. “Oh my god I was basically hit on by a giant alien slug who wanted to fuck me”.
As Yesung tried to console the barista, awkwardly patting his back, Agent K waltzed into the store, letting out a low whistle as he took in the now mess of a coffee shop. “Honestly Y when I sent you in for a pastry I did not think that trouble would manage to continue to follow you to this extent – I'm pretty sure this is a new record for you!”
“Shuttup K” Yesung grumbled, watching his partner warily as the taller man stepped over to the ruined counter, reaching into the pastry cabinet and taking himself a doughnut.
“Well” he mumbled through his now full mouth, “it looks like there's nothing left to do but call in the clean up crew and wipe cuties memory.” Stomping over to the pair on the couch Yesung watched as K reached into his pocket, pulling out his neuralyzer while Ryeowook looked up a him, obviously confused.
“I've got it K” Yesung stated, grip on the smaller man tightening slightly. “Just – go handle the clean up crew and I'll meet you back in the car.”
Agent K looked back and forth between the pair or a moment, popping the last bit of doughnut into his mouth before he smirked, letting out a smug 'mmkay' as he casually waltzed back out of the store. The pair continued to sit in awkward silence before Ryeowook gave Yesung a questioning look.
“Wipe my memory?”
Yesung pulled out his own neuralyzer alongside a pair of sunglasses, letting out a long sigh before he looked at the boy. “We're supposed to wipe your memory of the entire event so that you're not placed under any duress, as well as making sure the whole 'aliens are real' thing is kept a secret from the rest of the general population”.
“So I won't remember anything about today at all?”
Yesung looked at the barista, giving him a wry smile. “Like I never even came in, just a normal day...”
Ryeowook gave him a small pout, the image tugging slightly at Yesungs heartstrings, before the small man let out a sigh, squaring his shoulders as he turned to properly face Yesung. “Okay then, I just have to do one thing”.
Before Yesung could react Ryeowook leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against his. Yesung was frozen for a moment, shocked at the sudden warmth leaning against him before he reacted, firmly pulling the smaller body towards him in his attempt to deepen the kiss. Eventually they broke apart, Yesung letting out a shuddering breath as he looked at the blushing male beside him.
Ryeowook gave him a shy smile, taking his hand gently. 'Just – when you wipe my memory, promise that you'll come back one day and actually ask me out, because I promise even if you wipe my memory I'll still remember to kick your ass if you don't.”
When Yesung returned back into the car, whiny girl group song still blasting out of the speakers he groaned, leaning back against the seat as K gave him a knowing grin.
“You know, you could get into a looooooot of trouble for breaking neuralyizing protocol Agent Y”
Yesung looked at his partner, meeting the calculative gaze before he turned to face the window. “I have no idea what you're talking about Agent K...”
K let out a snort, leaning back as the cleaning crew pulled up and entered the small coffee shop. “So when do you get to see the cutie next?”
“...we have a date on Friday.”
*pls note that i just picked random aliens from mib for a name of the creature, the aldoosi may not actually be a large killer slug that wants the wook booty. no actual slugs harmed in the writing of this fic. i also have no proof that any females in kpop are actually exotic aliens [/whispers/ but that doesn't mean its not true have you seen female idols!? They're all too perfect to be truly human ;)]